Day #6: Let the Silence speak…
It was in 2012 when I left my home country and moved to Canada. I told my family I’ll be back in a year. My plan was to travel for the first time in my life, learn English and explore the other part of the world. Seven years later I’m still here in the heart of Canadian Rockies.
When I’m looking back at how everything in my life worked out, I have a hard time believing in such a thing as coincidence. I am grateful for all of the experiences, people I’ve met, opportunities as well as obstacles on my journey that led me here. To this exact perfect point of my life. There’s not one thing I regret nor I would do anything differently.
I always believed things were meant to happen and even when life gives us exactly the opposite of what we want — those too are the best gifts directing us to where we need to be. Every time when all seemed to fall apart, it was those moments when everything was coming together.
It was in 2015 when I applied for permanent residency. There were no reasons why my application could be denied. I had all the extra points for University degree, professional work experience in Canada, I was the most “desirable” age group for the application, my English was, well, pretty good ish. My immigration consultant had no doubts I was going to become a Permanent Resident and neither did I.
On one beautiful summer day, the letter from the government finally came. I was over the moon excited of what I thought was going to be the first day of my new life. Little did I know, it was. Not in a way I have imagined though. Smile on my face while opening the envelope soon changed into the puddle of tears. “Your application was denied.” in the bold letters was all I could see before bursting into tears.
I had a month to say goodbye to all I built in Canada before I had to leave the country. For a few days, while I was trying to process the shock, I was confused and sad of course…but deep down I knew this was a good thing. I just couldn’t possibly see in what way, but I had faith that the Universe would not have a better plan for me. It was at this point of my life when I started meditating. I wanted to get some answers but my mind was so loud that I could not hear what my heart was trying to say.
After another week of me desperately trying to find some guidance, just at the point I wanted to quit and break down, I could hear the message loud and clear. I needed to take a trip and trust the same voice that brought me to Canada. Strangely enough I got a call from a friend who was planning a trip to India. India! The place I have always dreamt of travelling to. I didn’t have to think twice and soon was on my way to take a Yoga Teacher Training in Dharamsala — Dalailama’s home.
This was truly a life changing experience. Long story short though… After I became a certified yoga teacher it was time to go home. I stopped by to visit a friend for a few days. I missed my flight back to Czech and few days suddenly turned into 6 months (seems like I have this strange ability to get stuck places haha). I lived in the small town in the heart of Himalayan mountains, studying meditation and Vedic philosophy from a Guru who forever changed the way I see the world.
After my trip to India — meditation became an important part of my life. I could count the days in the past few years I have not sat down to meditate. Sometimes it’s a “blissful” experience, another days not so much. But that’s not really what meditation is all about. The reason I meditate most of the days is exactly the same as why I started. When my mind is running wild, meditation helps me to hear my heart, connect with the inner world and see everything more clearly.
I’m not going to lie, it’s been a challenge to stay with the routine in the past few weeks. My life reminds me of a huge rollercoaster these days — it sure is an exciting ride but swishing through soooo fast you can’t take in what’s really happening around you. My meditation is far from blissful experience these days, I’m lucky if I convince the busy voice in my head to take a break for 2 seconds. But you know what? That’s ok too. My teacher would say there’s not good or bad meditation. You can’t turn off the mind, it is the mind’s job to think and it’s a pretty damn good design. The point here is what you focus on. Place your attention onto the source of thoughts rather on the thoughts themselves.
Closing my eyes and listening to the silence behind all those thoughts had been the best gift of today. Or any day, really. When the technology failed on me and I was only left with dead iPhone in hand, it could appear as an obstacle in my productive day…until I realized it was such a blessing. Left with no other choice than just be and do NOTHING more than sipping on my coffee— I heard the message loud and clear. “Slow down to speed up!”
It’s time for me to step away from this exciting ride and re-connect with mySelf. Such a crazy concept to take a day off, eh?! Tomorrow — on the day 7 of my cash-free journey — not only my wallet stays home. Tomorrow, my devices can take a break. I will take a day to recharge my own internal software that’s been neglected for way too long.
Yes, I could’ve told you about the trades & gifts of today. But I felt like sharing this Gift I receive back then in India instead. The Gift of listening to your inner voice. If you want to do something for yourself, then just go, sit, close your eyes and listen. There is a powerful message you can only hear in the sound of Silence.
From the ❤ Lucie Darshan
